Shakin' In My Boots

So I realized, once again, that fear is futile. When we are afraid of something, we are only making that thing happen. We are bringing that fearful situation or person or thing to us. When we embrace our fears and say I am bigger, better and stronger than that which I am afraid of, we make the fear go away. I found this again in my life recently at my job. I had been afraid to try doing things I knew I was capable of doing because I had studied them in school. I was worried that my employer was not prepared for me to try these things and so I just didn't try and started to become stagnant in my position. Once I started to believe in myself again and in my ability to perform the tasks required of me, even if I only knew them in theory as I had never actually tried doing them, I started getting opportunities to try doing them and I jumped at it. And you know what, I succeeded. Because, you see, failure is my biggest fear and it stops me from doing a lot of things. But as I have learned, once again, I am only hurting myself and depriving myself with this fear. It has no effect on anyone else. Maybe this time I will remember this lesson and will not be here in six months say "see blog from May", I have had to learn this lesson again. So from now on it is my resolution to shake in my boots out of the excitement of trying and not from the fear of it.

Thank You World.

It seems today that no matter where I look or what I hear or what I watch, I am being given the message of gratitude.  The power of gratitude.  The importance of gratitude.  The necessity of gratitude.  The act of gratitude.  I feel like I know all these things already, but every now and again I have a day like this that acts as a very strong reminder of how important gratitude is.  I think the thing I seem to forget is to express my gratitude out loud.  Sometimes, well maybe more than sometimes, I can be quite shy.  So telling someone how grateful I am for them or for their help or even just their presence when I needed it is a daunting task.  And while feeling gratitude is important, sharing and expressing it is just as important because then you not only bless yourself, you bless the one you thank.  You never know, they may have really needed that at that moment and you may be making all the difference in their life at that moment.  So right now I am going to shun my shy side and say THANK YOU WORLD.  I have been blessed to know so many wonderful people in my life and all of you that I have known have made a difference that cannot be measured.  I have had so many incredible experience in my life, some fun and exciting, some difficult and painful, but all have combined to make me the person who I am today and I really like that person.  And I know that the future is filled with so much more that I will be thankful for and learn and grow from.  THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU

Finally.....

Oh what a busy week and every time I tried to put up a new blog the site was down and I couldn't .  But finally time and computer network have coordinated so here I am.  Things have been very busy both in time and physical activity but also in my brain.  I am not always so good at making decisions and I had some to make some this past week.  Since I am in the process of starting a business selling my homecrafted goods online, I spent a good portion of this week trying to figure out how to get traffic on my site.  I decided I need to start creating more high end jewelry and see if that will be of more interest to the people that are already going to my site.  That was the easy part.  I had to decide what parts, like wire and stuff, I needed to make this happen.  That took 4 days and several revisions.  But I finally came up with a reasonable list, though I might have made one are two different choices if I did it today, but I am happy overall with my choices.  So hopefully there will be some jewelry up soon that will feature Sterling Silver and Swarovsky Crystals.  Make sure you check out the site regularly.  Ok, I am done with my self promoting.  I have also been working some additional hours at my other job in the cat clinic and have been learning a lot there.  I guess the moral of this story is most people only pursue one dream at a time for a reason.  Dream chasing takes a lot of energy, but the rewards are worth it and I wouldn't change a thing.  Good thing I have started exercising recently again.  I am going to need that energy. 

Looking Forward

So this last week I was really bothered.  Not by anything particular, but just by everything.  I get this way sometimes and to be honest, I hate it.  I get so wrapped up with what is happening in life and what things have been happening, and where I think things are going that I just get bothered because none of it seems to be what I want it to be.  Then yesterday I remembered, once again, that I am not the all knowing being that I like to think that I am.  And it is whenever I think that I am all knowing is when I get bothered.  I have no idea what the next minute holds, let alone the next day and I remembered that.

So last night I re affirmed my life to focusing on what is happening right now and not worrying about what has happened in my past and what I think might happen in my future.  If I think on the future at all, it will be to focus on the picture of the future I want and deserve, not worrying about bad things happening or going a way different than what I want.  I also started a new product for my store.  Soon you will find hand knitted cell phone cozies on the site.  This made me feel so great, getting this project started.  I am happy to say that I am feeling much less bothered today and am looking forward to the future.

Lots To Learn

Making changes in your life comes with a lot of opportunities to learn.  And the numbers and variety of things that you learn is amazing sometimes.  I was beginning to feel at one point that I was having to learn so many things in such a short period of time that my head was going to explode.  But I am happy to say that it didn't and now the learning has slowed up a bit and is coming at me in a much more manageable pace.  Oh, I am still learning a lot and am doing it constantly, but it is no longer feeling like I may drown in the effort to keep up with it all.

So what am I having to learn.  Well the biggest thing is not to worry and to believe in myself and what the future can hold.  I am infamous for saying the most negative thing that I can about my situation and, well to be quite honest, that has gotten me nowhere.  I have always fancied myself to be one who can tell you what he future has to hold.  Well that is not true.  I don't know what is going to happen in five minutes, the next hour, tomorrow or next week.  And I know this because I have been very surprised by some of the events that have occurred in my life when I was least expecting them, such as meeting the love of my life.  If you had told me that day what was going to happen in it, I would have called you crazy.  But I tell you what, it did happen and I am so grateful that I was open to the experience.


I have also been learning many other more practical lessons lately, like how to set up a web site and business.  How to make something beautiful, like a piece of jewelry and how to care for animals in need, I went to school to become a veterinary assistant last year.  I really feel like my brain has probably doubled in size and am glad that my actual head hasn't, that might look funny.  I am still learning in many of these areas and an having a great time doing it.  Fortunately, most of the learning I am going through right now doesn't include any tests or term papers, my least favorite parts of school.  So I say bring it on world, teach me all you have and all you want.  I want to know it.  And I just hope you can teach me not to be afraid of not knowing something and how to do it anyway and I will learn in the process of doing.

Yippee!!!!

What is joy?  As I drove to work the other day I saw it.  At least it was joy for the dog in the back of the SUV with his head hanging out and ears flapping in the wind.  That dog was experiencing pure, simple joy.  That sight got me to thinking about what joy is for me.   I have come up with a small list of things that are pure, simple joy for me that I would like to share.  Maybe some of them will work for you too.  Hugs, fresh baked cookies, a good laugh, petting an animal, sharing, making something with my own two hands, love of any kind between anyone.  There are probably many other things I could put in my list, but this is a good start.  Well today I have to admit that I had a wonderful moment of joy that is topping my list today.  I made my first sale on my Etsy website.  That is a great feeling.  I am experiencing the joy of moving forward in my life and nothing could be more satisfying since my life has been in constant transition for the last 18 months.  Yippee!!!!  So what gives you joy?  I would love to hear.

How much is too much? And how much is not enough?

Tell me if this sound familiar to you.  Have you ever noticed that when you are making things, like jewelry, you are conservative in using beads and crystals and just the stuff in general needed to make whatever it is that you are making.  Maybe it’s just me, but I am always afraid to use my stuff because what if I want to use it later for something else.  Maybe I’m just crazy, but this seems to be a battle I have every time I sit down to make jewelry, or bake cookies, or make any sort of thing.  Let me just say, I have to have an ample supply of whatever it is I need to create to feel like I can create, so I always seem to have extra of most things on hand and then I am afraid to use it because I might want to use it later.  This does lead to storage and space issues which I am always battling.  So I have come up with a new resolution.  I HAVE TO USE WHAT I HAVE.  I understand, intellectually anyway, that there is more out there to be gotten and that because I run out of something doesn't mean that I can't get it again.  I guess I just don't seem to craft and create from a very intellectual place.  While in some ways this is probably good since creation is an emotional process, that emotionality might be better served tempered with some intellectuality.  Thus my new rule.  We will see how this goes.  I will keep you posted.